Katie Goldman is a different little girl, in fact, so different that I in some ways
envy her.

Katie

She has her starwars motifed water bottle to school, have a starwars backpack,
and some anonymous boy tries to taunt her for it claiming its a bottle for boys, not little
10 year old girls. Now first off, to Katie I want to say this: Stand up for your right
to be an individual. Keep being someone who stands out of a crowd because that
will get you further in life then just being one in a crowd that looks like another
cookie cutter figure. To the little boy who tried to bully her regarding the water bottle
I want to say this: I know you are jealous of Katies waterbottle, but why not ask
Katie where her mother bought hers so you can get one just the same and
you both can be cool starwars fans together?

Oups, sidetracked there. Back on track.
It seems that this incident more or less made it to the huffington post, one of the most
read blogs online, if not the most read, and was written about there and the response
was quite overwhelming. Thousands of starwars geeks wrote on a facebook page that
in homage of Katie, they would wear starwars clothes and many of them even posted
pictures online, like this one:

This one was sent by @soozenw’

I am guessing its his/her kid and I must say I love it.

Anyhow, it seems that more then 33000 people took an interrest in little Katie’s plight and
I am one of them. Katie, the best of luck from a fellow starwars geek and i must say, the force is
strong in this one.

Katie’s mom asked ”is this how it starts?”

Well Carrie, that depends on what ”it” is. It could have been the start of a downward spiral, however,
”it” turned out to be a flood of well wishings and support to a little star wars fan, who suddenly got
33000 supporters that wants nothing more then show your little girl

Well, the 10 work day paternity leave ends tomorrow morning, and it is with mixed feelings
that I go to work tomorrow. Mixed because I do like my work, I enjoy the coworkers and all
but still, I have this little bundle at home that is squeeking for its parents because its all it knows
how to do. What is its name? Well, we have settled for Emil, wich in my ears and eyes suits this
little thing because despite being only 2 weeks old, he still has a face and eyes twinkling with
mischief.

I am however, already starting to dread the fact that I will be having 2 sons, close of age, wich
will have a set of my genes in them. I was high and low when I was a kid, and from the looks of
things, so will David, and I seriously doubt that Emil will be any different, so, my guess is that
my hair will increase its natural bleaching strategy and push forward full. Probably hitting
warp speed by the time Emil reaches the two year mark.

Having kids is a little like getting a meaningful tattoo. You sometimes stop and wonder
and just look at it thinking, what the hell have I gotten myself into, and other times you
just forget its there. But let me tell you. It’s there to stay and no matter what you do, remember
that there are no refunds on either tattoos nor kids.

Oh no, it has happened. My son has, despite my best efforts developed a horrible taste in music.
For some odd reason he has started to like the Numa Numa song and Karamelldansen (featuring the Tokyo stormtrooper)… sheeeeeesh

The worst part of it all is that he pretty much demands that you kick in the repeat button on those songs
so hard that they never stop and its slowly, but surely driving me crazy. I have tried, with my best efforts
to raise him on various rock music, such as AC/DC, Alice Cooper, Dio, Metallica, Iron Maiden and then round
that off with classics such as the man in black himself, Mr Cash, and other such large legends, but alas,
it appears that his taste in music goes to the grotesque … and someone PLEASE help me. The kid is on the way
to ruin. I am pretty sure that I will have what I dread the most. A hip hoper son ….. AUGH the horror!

His mother aint exactly helpin … she just started to play ”The Macarena” for David. Now I have 2 of them in the
same apartment!

Thats the most common sound right now here at home. For some reason my son
has decided that ”no” is the equivalent of both the swedish word ”nej” wich is no, and
pretty much anything that he doesnt want at the moment. And boy, that is frustrating.

He stands up, declares his noes, with no explanation whatsoever, and you know that he
can imply most things that he wants either audibly or visibly by pointing at it, but yet
he persists on indicating what he DOESNT want, and never any inkling of what he DOES want.
Life is hard when you are 2 years old I guess, when you have dense parents who cant
read your mind and refuses to let you climb on anything thats available to reach the
topmost shelf for no reason whatsoever then the fact that its there.

To make matters worse, David now finds himself at a loss. There is an invader in the house
and he is smaller then David! On top of that, he steals almost all attention from the parents
by simply screaming and farting.

I dont know how David thinks, because he doesnt have the words to express that currently and
I am guessing that its part of the problem. As a parent though, all you can do is show that
yes, there is another one that gets attention, but we still love you and we will hug you at
every turn we get.

Just venting some right now folks…

…then this song should appeal to you tremendously. I dont have a daughter, but I
realize that the same thing that Mr. Chapman describes happens to me and my son
over and over again. Everything goes so fast and it feels like yesterday when I held
him in my arms and he gurgled and cooed. Now he has learned the word No, wont
stand still for more then 2 seconds and constantly runs around trying to give
his parents heartattacks from fright.

First, the lyrics:

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I’m sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It’s been a long day
And there’s still work to do
She’s pulling at me
Saying ”Dad, I need you

There’s a ball at the castle
And I’ve been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?”

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
‘Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don’t want to miss even one song
‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she’ll be gone…

She says he’s a nice guy and I’d be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, ”Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?”

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
‘Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don’t want to miss even one song
‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she’ll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, ”Dad, the wedding’s still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?”

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
‘Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don’t want to miss even one song
‘Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she’ll be gone .

And second, the song.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUk5SZ18WhY[/youtube]

Not sure how many of you out there that knows how hard it is to get a kid to
stay in its own bed for the first period that you get them out of the cot, but
let me tell you, it will wear you down to nothing pretty darn fast.

David has got one of those extendable bed now, so he has something to
grow in so to speak, and thats all well and good, however, he doesnt really
agree with his parents when its time to nap or sleep. So what happens?

Well, we hug him and kiss him and put him in the bed, we go out, close the door
and 5 seconds after, the door opens and there stands David. So, now starts
the yo-yo dance. I put him in his bed, pat his back and walk out, close the
door, and take 2 steps and the door opens, and I have to do the entire thing
all over again. Thankfully me and Linda takes turns doing this because this
takes pretty much all the patience you have as a parent.

Duct taping the kid to a wall or the ceiling is looking more and more appealing for
each time you put David back into the bed. Hopefully his little mind will soon
grasp that it is pointless to open the door again because once he does, a parent
will be there and carrying him back into his cot again.

On the job front then, well, I have been at the new job for about 3 weeks now
and it still feels good to go to the job. Since it alternates with answering mails
aswell as the phone, I dont have any trouble whatsoever with the voice, I did
feel a slight tinge on thursday, but I spent 12 hours on the job that day ( I
volonteered(sic?)) and that still went ok. To the fact comes that the callers
actually listens and are at the age when they still can hear things without
you as an operator having to shout your lungs out of your mouth.

All in all. I like the place, I like the people. I feel good.

Been reading a lot of parenting sites, and (what else is new)
I started to think about how pregnancies and fatherhood
is regarded in todays society. And the conclusion is that
there really isn’t much a man have to say about the whole
matter.

Let’s use some logic, at least thats what I call it.

1. It is the womans body who is affected.
2. The woman decides wether or not the child will be concieved.
3. It’s not 1 persons responsibility to use contraceptives.
4. In some cases the contraceptives doesn’t even work.
5. There is a risk that the male is not the real father.

Now, the last one is a little of a hot potatoe, but the risk is still
there. I am by no means saying that all women are unfaithful,
but the male really doesn’t have much choice then to trust the
woman until the child is born. At which point he probably has
adjusted his own thoughts to be a father.

Now, a lot of people will say ”Well, he should have just used
a condom” And yes, he could have, but laying all the
responsibility on one person is, in my opinion not fair.
The man COULD have used a condom of course,
but the woman could have helped him remember.

A joke with the punchline of  ”men have 2 heads, but only blood
enough for one” has been around for like forever, and there is
a grain of truth in that. Once the sexual excitement goes to
a certain point, reason pretty much just flies right out the window
and if a pregnancy is not planned, is it really something that only
one person should think about and be responsible for?

What does this have to do with the topic at hand you ask?
Well, it really is quite simple. When a pregnancy occurs,
the male have pretty much 2 options.

1. Take responsability and support the mother and child.
2. Absent himself.

If he is unwilling, unready, whatever term you want here
to take responsability, he will, in society’s view be a deadbeat
dad, wich amounts to a certain amount of social alienation and
scorn.

If he however reluctantly, takes responsibility for the child, the
relationship will most likely further deteriorate because of the
males resentment and reluctancy to take himself into parenthood.

Of course, there is abortion, and some males tries to press
and blackmail their partner to do one, but really, is that fair?
No, definetly not, because you as a man really have no say
over your partners body, you are merely ”borrowing it” for
a while and really have no claims on it.
Once again, the male have nothing to demand here,
and really, this is as it should be.

This is a tangle of monumental proportions really, because as the society
is shaped now, and with its opinions, ”the only acceptable thing” to do is
to face it that you (pardon the pun) screwed up and you are now either
going to care for a child for the next two odd decades, or, forever wear
the stamp of the deadbeat dad.

There is a lot of talk about unwanted pregnancies and how you can
prevent it, but what often is forgotten is that the most of the time
the responsibility is summed up like this:

Ok, girls, make sure you dont get pregnant, make sure that the
boyfriend wears a condom.

But what of the boyfriends? What do they get to hear? Well, what boys
usually hear at the later teens goes in one ear and out the other, might
aswell just admit it, because there’s no denying it, but the stress there
is on STD’s. All well and good but the issue of pregnancy is mentioned
more as an afterthought.

So, lets sum this up a little, because knowing my ramblings I have probably
sidetracked, raved and ranted so much that you couldnt keep up.

Girls, You can get pregnant, keep that in mind.
Boys, you can make a girl pregnant, please remember that.

Both of you: Respect your partner and help your relationship
by not rushing headlong into a pregnancy before you are ready.
Males matures later then girls. Also a fact to keep in mind.
Just because someones biological clock is going haywire, that doesn’t
mean that your partners clock is in sync. Communication is the
key and the vital part is shared responsability for the be or not to be
when it comes to pregnancies.

Girls, it is true that it is your body, you can do with it pretty much
what you want, but does that mean that you have the right to enforce
parenthood on someone unwilling? Is it not in BOTH persons best
interest to be protected and in concensus regarding the pregnancy?

Guys, how you want to do is really your call, but respect your
partner, and talk to your partner about pregnancy, how you feel
and think about it, and regarding contraceptives.

IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BOTH OF YOU TO MAKE SURE!

Emotions are funny things really, we can’t surpress them, and we
can hide them, but beneath the exterior of our masks, they are
still there. Churning, want to induce laughter or make you cry
but somehow, in todays society we generally dont show emotions
the way that might be needed sometimes, we bottle it all up inside
and swallows that lump down and pretend that it was never there
in the first place.

This comes back sooner or later to bite you in the posterior of
course, and your therapist earns a bundle just because we and the
society we live in expect us to behave in a certain way, and to the
lowest hell with the one that doesn’t comform with those ideas.

Let me give you a good example. How often do you see a man
cry? Sure. it happens, but usually its because one or another sports
superstar retires and its usually followed by a macho slap on the
back from the fellow drinking buddies. And really, sports are intertwined
with a lot of emotions, but how about a man crying just because a sad
movie, or Pete forbid, a sad song.

Think on that for second. If you, as a man compare the times when
you cry, compared to your girlfriend/wife and you see for yourself.
If you cry just as often or more, the chances are, you are most likely
considered a ”wimp” by the other fellow men, and you are aware of it.

Now, let me admit. I am a man, and I can cry, and no, its not because
a superstar retired, and not because I stubbed a toe.

I find that I have become very sensitive to things that regards children
and parents relations to their children. There are a lot of sad songs out
there, but some of them are simply a little too horrible in their content
for me to not react. Let me show you a few, and please, feel free to comment
and give me more to list here.

Martina McBride – Concrete Angel
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLwwy-g2wkc[/youtube]

Stephen Curtis Chapman- Cinderella
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUk5SZ18WhY[/youtube]

Kenny Chesney – There goes my life
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3p9WgQese5k[/youtube]

Now, not all are sad, but they do touch me emotionally to a really big extent.
Hope you like em.

Sometimes you tire of your offspring, of course, who doesn’t loose patience
at one point or another, but you do your best not to take it
out on the child. At least, thats what anyone that has a
clear cut conscience does. You see, just because one’s life is
hard, stressful and filled with adversity, there is no real
excuse to take things out on a poor, innocent child, no
matter what mess that child has managed to make, or
whatever that child did break.

When you physically hurt a child, is it a need for control, an
outlet for helplessness, or just plain mental problems? I
really can’t make a call on that because I am not a shrink like
Dr. Phil, neither am I a therapist in any other way that matters,
but I can, and do let people know that by being a parent I
can vouch for my own feelings in the matter at hand.

Every single day, there are children being physically abused
by adults and that to me, is unacceptable. If you see
someone  violently shaking or hitting a child, even if it is an
open handed slap, would you react, and more importantly,
HOW would you  react? I am not gonna sit here and tell you
that I would do this and that or else.. but I would do
SOMETHING at least. It is an obligation I have towards every
child out there, an obligation that every single sensible adult is bound to.

There is no excuse for inaction. I have heard of those that just shrugged and
thought ”hey, its not my call”. IT IS YOUR CALL. You are observing it.
How would you feel if that same child, later that night died from one
to many blow to the head, and you realized that if you had spoken up
for that child, that little person would be alive, albeit a bit sad to be
separated from the parent because, lets face it, abused children still
loves their parents on one or another level, and leaving that parent
may in the beginning feel like a betrayal, but in the end, maybe you can
make the child understand that it is not his or her fault that their
parent is hitting them.

Now, just to share something. My girlfriend showed me this earlier tonight
and even though I am supposed to be one of the stereotype manly men
(I know I most definetly aren’t one) I got a little wet in the corner of my eye.

The song is named ”Concrete angel” and the lyrics are below.

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she’s holding back
Wearing the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with the linen and lace, oh

The teacher wonders but she doesn’t ask
It’s hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear but they turn out the light
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it will be too late

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot

Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can’t rise above
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place
Where she’s loved concrete angel

…because daddy has a new little pirate around.

There was a fair in town this weekend, quite large ones actually
and there was quite a lot to look at, but a few things struck me
as odd. First, it seemed like every third stall was selling sunglasses
and well, to be honest, not the good looking ones. These where the
types that was modern in the 70′s, and might be so now, but they
still make you look like a beetle or a fly. I simply cannot understand
why good fashion never comes back, but the bad always do.

Anyhow, we got a few things that was good. I got myself a new wallet thingy
one of those that are more made to keep credit cards then cash, but still
I dont carry around cash if I have to, I got myself a nice little 3d poster
for the wall over my computer setup, and Linda of course, got candy, and
another handbag. I think she has 8 or so now. I guess it’s kinda like the shoe
thing with women. You know that a woman can never have enough shoes.
For Linda, its handbags.

Anyhoo, back to what we got. Sort of at least.
I recently joined a group on facebook, called ”I dont care if your crocs are comfy,
you look like an idiot wearing them” and guess what Linda brought home from
the faire… you guessed it. A pair of blue crocs for David to wear and my protests
was met with ”But, they are so cuuuuuute!” And that was that. My son now
wears crocs wether I like it or not.

We also needed another hat or cap for David because the one he had, had those
earflap things that well, covered the ears, but in 25 centigrade warmth, that isn’t
really comfortable. So, we looked around, and lo and behold. We found a Pirate/
biker bandana, take a look:

Kinda neat huh? So, now when I take the babystroller, I fill it with my own little pirate.
YARR!